By Amanda Vann, (301) 563-6685
At some point, most people who go through a divorce develop feelings of anger, fear, sadness, or frustration that affect them moving forward. But as you move forward in the process, and especially once your divorce is finalized, you must find your new norm and what will truly make you happy. Consider these tips when planning life after divorce.
Take Time for Yourself
Although you may find yourself lonely, don’t be so quick to jump from one relationship to another. Take time to reflect upon your marriage: what worked, what didn’t, and what you would change in future relationships. No one starts a relationship expecting it to fail, but when it does, use the lesson to your advantage and learn from it. Remember that no one is perfect. It is typical to put all of the blame on your ex-spouse. Still, it would be best to do internal reflection to decide what you can do differently to make yourself a better partner. Everyone needs to continue growing and learning from life, and a marriage is no different. It takes work from both spouses, because it isn’t always easy. You are two people who have different minds, and while you may have been on the same page initially, something happened where you were no longer in sync, and that is where you need to start your focus. What can you do differently to ensure your happiness in your next relationship?
Address Your Feelings
There are a lot of feelings that you will go through, from the time you realize that divorce is inevitable until your divorce is final. Those feelings can often resurface even after your divorce is finalized, so you must have a mechanism to address what you are going through. This means having the support of professionals to help, such as your doctor and, if needed, a therapist. You should talk to your doctor about your feelings, so you can work through them and not hold everything in.
Be Prepared for Changes in Your Friendships
Often, friends will take sides during a divorce and section into two groups: one group will stay as your friend, and the other will stay friends with your ex. Be aware of the group that stays close to you. Even when friends stay close to you, your divorce can affect your relationships with them. Often, someone in your immediate circle is who you will use to vent all of your marriage frustrations to. And while they are good listeners and serve a purpose as you move forward, these friends aren’t a good fit once you are divorced and ready to move forward in your life. Be prepared to reassess friendships as you move forward, and make sure that your friends are there to be friends and support you, not hindering you by reminding you of the past.
Have a Plan to Get Your Finances in Order
Almost everyone who goes through a divorce will feel the financial pinch, both during and after the process. It typically can take one to two years to recover and get your finances back on track. Do not underestimate the value of having a great CPA and meeting with a financial advisor. Professional advisors will help you set obtainable financial goals to take the financial stress off of you and allow you to start living your best life again!
Look Forward, Not Back
Please don’t dwell on your past; learn from it and move forward. Take up new hobbies, or rediscover interests that you may have pushed aside while you were married. Now is the time to discover yourself again and experience what you have been wanting to but couldn’t.
It always takes time to recover from divorce emotionally, financially, and your overall well-being, but it is critical to becoming your best self. While at times it may seem impossible, with the right mindset and professionals involved, you will recover, move forward, and begin your next chapter in a better place.
Contact Amanda Vann at (301) 563-6685.
About Andalman & Flynn, P.C.: Founded in 1998 in downtown Silver Spring, Maryland, Andalman & Flynn has forged a distinguished reputation for legal excellence. The firm represents individuals seeking disability benefits throughout the country and practices family law throughout Maryland and the District of Columbia. The firm focuses on cases that impact the rights of everyone, and is there for clients when responsive legal help is most critical. The firm has provided legal analysis on national and local television and radio, and their attorneys often testify before legislative bodies and are routinely invited to contribute to prominent legal publications. For more information about Andalman & Flynn, please visit the website at andalmanflynn.com or call 301.563.6685